Litany of Lawyers Comic Poem, Benedict Brooke

A litany of lawyers

Looking like Tom Sawyers

Twelve years old if they’re a day

Mischievous and creatin’

A rumpus and all statin’

“We guarantee, no fee, no win no pay!”!

They’re circling at my bedside

And someone at my headside,

Is guiding my hand to sign a contract

Saying “You need testimony

Then leave the rest to me...”

We’ll see you rich – and that’s a fact!”

“So you had a little accident,

This’ll be money well spent”

“Hold On, I thought you said no fee?”

“You’re gonna have your day in court,

Then just as an afterthought

“Now kindly sign your rights over to me…”

I guess that I’d been in a crash

Had a broken leg and some whiplash

Hold on, these guys said they came for free!

Now they’ve taken all I’ve got, and that wasn’t such a lot

They took my money, took my house and all my clothes in lieu

And all they said to me was “Thought you knew.”