Larry Gatlin

Larry was born in Texas in 1948, and as his father was an oilfield worker, the family  moved around a good deal.  He heard gospel and country music, growing up, and he and his two brothers Steve and Rudy, performed in church, singing gospel as kids.

In 1966, he went to the University of Houston and played college football. After joining a gospel music group, he met the singer Dottie West, who admired his singng and song writing skills and she found him work as a backing singer for Kris Kristofferson. In the 1970s he released his own records and began to include his brothers in his act. In 1979, the name was officially "Larry Gatlin & the Gatlin Brothers.  His hits included “Houston Means I’m One day Closer to you”, and “All the Gold in California”.

He and his brothers had a farewell tour in 1992, before retiring to their own theater in South Carolina. 

A year or 2 ago, I was at the Grand Old Opry, and Larry was one of the funniest most charming people on that stage. So much so, that I had to go to the next Opry performance, where he was playing, just to see him.  He was funny, lively and utterly delightful, and was at his funniest, dancing with the Opry dancers…

This is a short blog, but he was one of the people I’ve enjoyed most on stage.. ever….and I wanted to write about a hapy experience

Warning to Social climbers Benedict Brooke, short funny poem

As Jeremy reached the mountain top, He said “At last I can relax”
I must inform the office, By mobile phone, and fax”
“Must let them know that I’ve achieved
My ultimate final goal”
“No not slamming the markets     
Or selling my bloody soul
Or being a bear, a slag or some such
Or playing the Stock Exchange
But I’ve given up my position
And conquered a mountain range
Reinstatement and promotion
Senior manager, at least
For I was conquering Everest,
While they were on the piste
Five hundred K, a company car
A Merc or maybe a Jaguar
Executive Box at sporting Events
Henley, champagne, hospitality tents
A flat down in Chelsea, a girlfriend called Shona
Invited to Wembley, guest of the owner
I’ll buy up Man U, run my own racehorse
And hope for a gong from Her Majesty, of course
Imagine their faces when I meet the queen
I’ll stand there, polite, aloof and serene"
-       and with that, the smug bastard fell down a  ravine

Song for Leonard Cohen’s Birthday Benedict Brooke

Yesterday was Leonard Cohen’s birthday

and I can hear the music as the hours go by

I sometimes ask myself for a reason

then I realise I need only the present hour

Don’t call me stupid but it’s hard to touch

that swollen inner place that asks for so much

and now I check the hour

late again, I’m awake

to the vapid sound of night

and pallid fingers of time, winding about my face

I wanted to ask you, Mr Cohen

what was it all about?

until I realised that the silence

fills the spaces that always frighten us…

Johnny and the Four (Short dark humour story) Benedict Brooke

Johnny Davies was only short when they told him the story.  About the four men who had lived next door.  But then you’re not that tall at only two.

Anyway, one day, Johnny was crossing the road and one of the men, the tall thin one, offered to help him to cross. How they got out of the way of that truck, I’ll never know.  Funny guy.  Funny peculiar- that is, dressed a bit like a monk. You know, long black habit, cowl, guess he was a gardener or some such with that scythe he carried.

Do you remember the riot? Johnny does, when those five guys started up on the black family next door, (on the left hand side, not on the right hand side where the four guys were).  Before you knew it, Combat 18, NF, the Anti-Nazi League and a representative of the Monster Raving Loony part, who had gotten lost while canvassing, all turned up with knives, skewers, corkscrews and whatever other implements they had managed tom borrow from the other 4 guys next door.

Do you remember how the police turned up? After the majority of the crowd had dispersed, and they arrested anyone remaining, bleeding or drunk (apart from the off duty officer of course.).  And Johnny meanwhile, looking aghast from the window, was moved, pyjamas and all,  to throw on his dressing gown and shove his feet into slippers and bugger off down the road, to a safe distance, to absorb events.

The gentleman standing beside him in the gawking throng was smiling at this time, although Johnny, in his combination of shock, amazement and excitement, didn’t notice this.  Anyway, Johnny grew older, as unfortunately and inevitably one does.  He didn’t move.  His parents were victims of a car crash when he was eighteen, when he was of an age, to take charge of the house.

But by this age, Johnny had a problem with his weight.  Despite incipient anorexia and the earnest but terrible cooking of his mother, (in earlier years obviously... even I’m not stupid enough to confuse my continuity that much)… no matter how little he ate, he steadily piled on the pounds.  So that at the age of 20, he realised that the only career he could embark on was that of professional wrestler.   Fortunately one of the gentlemen next door came to visit dear old Johnny.  This neighbour was the pale rather slim one -with the ash blond hair and albino eyes.  This gentleman suggested a high- quality though rather unnerving diet. Anyway, luckily for Johnny -he was never brought to book for his – ahem –cannibalistic crimes. Though he was rather foolish in that he used the same cab firm each time.  But the desired effect was achieved and Johnny soon became a fine figure of a man (albeit rather short).  So his thoughts began to run to courting.

Joanna was tall, fair and graceful.  Johnny met her at the Jim.  He had intended to go and work-out, but was unfortunately dyslexic and had in fact walked into a bar.  He managed somehow to work his way into her favour, and after the obligatory “coffee”, her knickers as well.  Indeed, with the very marriage arranged and a stag night in view, Johnny was left, as one is, deciding to whom to invite to the “almighty piss up”.  But he had few friends, more like “acquaintances”, due to his earlier more unsociable activities. So Johnny thought it might be appropriate to invite the four men next door (Although he was very insecure concerning their ménage a quarter).

Anyway, a jolly old evening was had by all, apart from the barman who experienced an attack of scrofula, and the knife fight about whose pint was whose?

Johnny hadn’t realised that the Farmers Arms was a gay pub, and what with all the pub grub being out of date, and the old guy at the corner table being found dead, when everyone thought that he was just taking his time over his pint.  Mind you, the tall skinny man was winning at pool.

And when Johnny got home (he’d invited them all in for a drink) there was the message on his voicemail.  From the hospital.  Joanna was critically ill with pneumonia, pleurisy, and something that they’ve only just discovered and hadn’t given a name to, yet.  (They were sure they’d be able to think of something in time for the TV news.)

“Oh and she was dead” they added.

“Never mind, better luck next time?”

However Johnny remained single, and heartbroken.   Mourning his lost love, until, some 10 years later, all four chaps who lived next door  (who had been his emotional and physical crutch), popped up on the doorstep.

“Hello Johnny” they said, in an affable  manner.  “We’ve come to cheer you up.”

“And give you a good haircut,” remarked the stocky one... although not in a way that anyone could hear clearly.

“Anyway” the thin one said, affixing a tourniquet on his upper arm as they sat at Johnny’s kitchen table,

“Anyway,” he reiterated, “We think – that is we collectively –“

“Hold on -” the deep voice of the tall one said, “Who the fuck’s in charge here?”

“Just get the fucking clippers” the stocky one replied.

Johnny, proud of his lush and flowing locks (and the fact that he hadn’t had to pay for a haircut in 11 years), was somewhat taken aback at this.  However, when held down by Mr Skinny, Mr Pale and with his head held firmly in place by the muscular forearms of Mr Stocky, he resigned himself to the robust attentions of Mr Grim (I think you’ve all guessed it by now!).  Time passed – as it does – and here we find Johnny sitting bemused and shorn, upon his kitchen floor. Rubbing his shaven and rather itchy denuded head.  He is heard to mutter to himself (first sign of lunacy –or maybe it is the first sign of sanity)...

“That fucking tattoo, what does it mean anyway?  And what did he mean by that?”

For as the tall one had left, tattooing equipment still in hand, he had said softly, smiling,

 “You’re ready now Johnny, you’re ready.”

Mind you, with a face like that, there’s not much you can do but smile.  And why, as the sign was engraved on his head, and he had yelled the characteristic “What the fuck do you think you’re doing?” had the pale one replied “How apt, how apt.”

Three years later, at the age of 33, Johnny was elected Prime Minister of the United Kingdom.  The rest will be history, (Or Prophecy depending on how you look at it.). 

the Games they play, Benedict Brooke

Larry O’Flynn drank a bottle of gin

Every night after work when he got in

Empties stacked in the yard while they marked his card

At the one or two places where he wasn’t barred

The photo of his wife still sits on the TV

Though she ain’t passed this way since 1983

He used to take her dancing and a little romancing

Down the Dewdrop Inn -Saturday night

Now he sits in his shorts, tuned to cable TV sports

Watching re runs of last weeks’ fight.

Chorus

Was it worth the leaving, was it easier to stay

Things’ll be different, starting today

Are you thinking of me, when I’m thinking of you

Are you missing me, am I missing you too?

Who can say?

I guess it’s strange, the games unmarried people play

Eileen O’Flynn don’t know where to begin

Her only recent date looked like Ho Chi Min

Talked about nothing but his Eivlis collection…

Didn’t have a jump suit, but he had an erection

Asking him to leave, well it seemed just too much fuss

It’s the choice between desperation - or a lonely lush

Now she’s tired in the morning and she’s got the coital blues

Waiting on tables and shuffling those soft shoes.

Chorus

Larry bumped into Eileen at the Seven- Eleven

Arranged to take her for a bite, Tuesday night at 7

And a few days later, Larry’s cleaning up the yard

Sobered up cold turkey, though it was pretty hard

And Eileen’s leafing through an old wedding catalog

Talking about kids, or maybe they’ll get a dog

And helpful friends are saying things like “You must be insane”

“She’s cheap” – “He’s a creep” – “Don’t go through that again”

Chorus

But we ain’t for turning; we’re going all the way

Things’ll be different, starting today

You’re thinking of me, when I’m thinking of you

And you’re kissing me, and I’m kissing you too

What can you say?

I guess it’s kind of strange, the games unmarried people play

California Mountain Range Benedict Brooke

California Mountain Range

White edged against the blue encircling sky

Ain’t no river blue enough, nor no mountain high

California mountain range

The shifting sands can’t change

Your place in time

Or halt my endless wanderings

Only touch the clouds one time

And feel the echoes of her mind

The Broken plains, the frozen waste

Alaska or some long lost place

Or the Boot Hills of some Texas of some long lost song

Some such place I stole from time

Now long lost within my mind

Where only memory knows, that someone did somebody wrong

California Mountain range

The seasons pass and never change

The soft calls of your canyons and your ridge back highs

Only touching your stony ground

Your head in clouds wreathed all around

And speaking quietly of softer times

And gently falls the wind swept snow

And passing winds that cannot show

Those secrets that are lost, e’en in the finding

California Mountain Sky

The traveller with his head held high

Up on the ridge backed pass and winding

Past the skyline, past the trees

California morning Breeze

Strays through my hair and ties me to her wand’ring..

‘cross the leaves to firmer ground

Your silence echoing around

Then final world of half a lifetime’s wondering

Now high above the rising pass

She lays and names her home at last

Now California mountain range

Take me in your arms of stone

And make of me a place called home

And lay to rest my empty dreams of passing time

Let my feet move to the dance

Of knowing luck and certain chance

Where no one hears the evening fall, and blue stars shine

Take my hand and lead me high

Where the passing trail can’t wind

Beyond the snowline, where the sun is falling

Place my hand upon the clouds

And ease my body to the ground

Let me rise to greet the early morning

Where rock is smooth as polished glass

Swallowed In memories of her past

Where still your silent watchfulness is standing

And somewhere there - I’ll raise my head

When sky turns rust and rivers red

And ask a little understanding

California mountain range

White edged against the blue encircling sky

Ain’t no river blue enough, nor no mountain high

I’ll weep not nor ask you why

Say only that I’ll rest here while I’m waiting

And then upon your silent sky

We’ll walk to clouds and there goodbye

Will change into a new dawn’s making…

T Shirt (2015) by Benedict Brooke

To wed and to bed, and to turn off the lights

To bed and to dead - that most silent of nights

Once born, is that it?  All that lies ahead

After break of dawn and breaking of bread?

Not journeymanship when all is done and said, but merely a holiday trip instead.

Each visit, but brief.  A whistle-stop tour – that is it, relief, the travel shop pall.

Now bears a trinket, to link it, to whatchemacall…

A souvenir of a year dead, to add to the haul.

Somewhere out there, if you scurry and run

Career at a hurry, scramble on up and on

New destination, new location, new experience, old frustration

The waste that haste loses, in translation.

Each moment which left to ferment might bear relation.

This fleeting vacation, with each truculent view

Unenduring, time spent touring

Unmemorable places, vestigial sights

Ephemeral traces of trivial nights

And when all’s said – to bed, and turn off the lights

 THE END

Mrs Gaskell Novelist Part II

Mrs Gaskell had 4 daughters by her husband, and a son who died in infancy.  She began to write to distract herself from her grief, and she had several different kinds of writing that she enjoyed.  She had a romantic streak which led her to write ghost stories, but from her work as a minister's wife in Manchester, she learned about the casualties of the Industrial Revolution, the ill fed, ill-housed working classes and she wanted to use her writing to help them. 

She did not know the working class from “inside” but she was an intelligent imaginative woman who was able to understand them better than many middle class writers. Her portrayals of the factory workers were sympathetic and well observed.  However she got a lot of criticism from the middle class manufacturers and business people, who felt that she was showing too much sympathy to the working classes and their trade unions, and demands for workers’ rights.  The well to do classes felt that as a middle class lady and a Christian, she should be supporting the status quo and not encouraging radical ideas.

She tried to write about the working class with feeling and charity, though she was, as a middle class woman, a little afraid of the dangerous ideas about unions, and “against property”, that some of them propounded. 

She knew however that they were right in their belief that they were the ones who suffered and were harshly treated, and that they had a right to a better life than they were having.  When she tried to “bring the classes together” and ask working men to understand the viewpoint of the middle class owners, she was shaken by a response from a working man “have you ever seen a child clemmed (starved) to death?”

William “backed” his wife, when she was criticised by the owning class, even if it made his life as a minister difficult.

Her earlier novels, such as Mary Barton, North and South and some of her stories, tend to veer between real sympathy and excellent observation of working class life, yet also an attempt to portray the mill owners fairly, or even, some felt, too generously.

Her most controversial novel was “Ruth” which was the story of an unmarried mother.  However, she didn’t want her young daughters to read it, and many people thought that it was scandalous to portray an unwed mother as a victim of male selfishness and an innocent girl... But Charlotte Bronte felt angry that Gaskell had to kill Ruth off... that she had to expiate her sin by death. Her Victorianism and her sense of Christian propriety warred with her generous nature and her instincts as a writer.

Elizabeth Gaskell Part I

Elizabeth Gaskell’s works have enjoyed something of a revival in recent years, with the TV version of her best work “Wives and Daughters” and also a TV version of “Cranford” has been very popular.

She was born as Elizabeth Stevenson, in Chelsea; London in 1810; her father was a Unitarian minister.  The Unitarians were dissenters, outside the Church of England, and in many ways more liberal in their social, political and religious thinking.  They were usually based in towns, and tended to attract either liberal thinkers or people of the lower middle or working class. In later life, Gaskell became friends with Charlotte Bronte, whose husband, Arthur Nicholls was very bigoted against people who disagreed with the Anglican Church…

She herself was tolerant of other beliefs, but she was still very much of a Victorian, religious and strict in her conduct.

Her mother died when she was a baby, and her father sent her to Knutsford in Cheshire to be looked after by her aunt.  This country town was a place she loved and which became the basis for Cranford, and also for the country town in Wives and Daughters.  Her father had resigned his orders in the Unitarian church, on conscientious grounds... something that would happen with Mr Hale in North and South. He tried to find other work, and acquired a civil service post.  However he was far from well off, though his wife, Elizabeth’s mother had connections with well-known prominent Unitarian families such as the Martineaus, and Darwins.

Later her father remarried and had another family and Elizabeth continued living with her aunt.  It seems as if she did not get on too well with her stepmother, and this may have been the inspiration for Molly Gibson’s unhappy situation with her stepmother – the shallow silly Hyacinth.

She has a good education in a small school near her country home and at another school in Stratford upon Avon. Her marital prospects weren’t good, due to her lack of fortune but she did have a social life, sponsored by her relatives.

However she was a pretty, charming girl, intelligent and compassionate, and in 1832, she married William Gaskell, a Unitarian Minister and moved to Manchester.  Manchester was then a city which had grown up from the Industrial Revolution.  It contained factories, and slums and the working and living conditions of the poor were terrible. 

As a minister’s wife, Gaskell was exposed to the terrible urban poverty, and learned about industrial issues.  She began to write after the death of 2 of her children, a stillborn daughter and a baby son. Her marriage was a happy one.  William, by the standards of the time, was a liberal tolerant husband who allowed her a good deal of freedom.  He was dedicated to his work as a minster, which included a good deal of “social work.  This took up a lot of his time and he expected his wife to support him in it... but he encouraged her to write and to get her work published.

Thank Heaven Fasting E M Delafield

I haven’t read all of Delafield’s novels, and I am not a fan of her most famous work “the Provincial Lady” which was so popular.  I have read some of her novels about married ladies of the middle to upper class, such as “The Way Things Are”, and I haven’t greatly liked them.   They seem to be about well-off women complaining about their servants, their husbands etc. and its hard to have any sympathy or find the plots interesting.   In these, Delafield seems snobbish and I can’t warm to her heroines.  

But I loved “Thank Heaven Fasting.”  It is about a young woman -Monica, who is just about to make her coming out in Society, in the Edwardian age.  The year isn’t given, but it’s clearly in the era of Women’s Suffrage, and strict chaperonage of young girls.  It is the world of Delafield’s girlhood, with all the rigid customs that ended with World War One.

Monica is pretty, pleasant and conventional, and eager to please her parents by getting married soon.  She also has a normal desire for pleasure and a normal sex drive, although she’s very innocent.   There are no money problems, she does not need to marry in order to live comfortably... but she knows in her bones that it is every woman’s duty to get married as soon as possible...

It is important to marry someone of suitable birth and breeding who has the means to support a wife... but in the end, getting a well off husband matters less than “just finding a husband of any kind”.  At first, she has an admirer who seems suitable, Claud.  He is well bred, has a career and is comfortably off... and she likes him.  But before long, she knows that her mother and father will be glad of any man of the right class, even if he does not have much money… or is older...or in some other way not all that desirable.

Monica has hopes of Claud -right from their first dance, but her friends Frederica and Cecily, the daughters of a hard selfish society woman, are much less lucky than she appears to be.. They are shy and plain, and they cling to each other obsessively because they know that their chances of marriage are slim, and that their coarse-fibred mother despises them for being lacking in charm and sex appeal.

But Monica makes a disastrous mistake.  Not long into her first Season, she gets into a heavy flirtation with a soldier, Christopher, who is only interested in a bit of fun.  Her parents discourage the relationship, because he has no money and is soon to be shipped off to India.  But he arouses Monica’s desires and she is eager to marry him... even if her parents disapprove.  
He encourages her to disobey the rules, to sneak out and meet him... Finally, she allows him to take her off during a dance, kissing her on the rooftop of the ballroom.  Word gets out about the “disappearance” and although Monica has done nothing more than kissing, she finds that there is gossip about her.  Christopher has treated her, a lady, like a little shop girl... who is good for a few kisses but not good enough to marry..
Monica realises that she has lost her “freshness” and gradually slides into a half world of “almost spinsterhood”.  She has another Season and another, and her friends (apart from Frederica and Cecily) get married.  She is left behind. She is less attractive to men.  But she keeps on hoping.  Some readers get annoyed with this book because Monica’s only goal is to marry; she has no interest in a career... or agitating for the Vote, or even charity work.   She knows that to take up full time charity work is a confession of failure for a girl of her kind.  But I can understand.. Monica is not different to most other girls of her kind and class.  Some readers want Monica to be ahead of her time, to give up "wasting her time looking for a man" and find a job, or for Delafield to rescue her by producing a husband that she can love.

Delafield however is being realistic.  Monica is who she is.  She doesn’t want to be unconventional… she wants a suitable marriage and to be the same as other girls.

And when a suitable man comes along, even though years ago she would probably have rejected him as too old and not romantic, Monica is relieved and happy…Its real life, not "romantic novel life". 

E M Delafield (1890-1943)

E M Delafield was the pen name of Edmée Elizabeth Monica Dashwood, née de la Pasture, a well-known novelist of the 20s and 30s. She was from a middle class background, and her mother was also a novelist.  She was a debutante in 1909, but a few years later, went into a Roman Catholic order of nuns.  Why she did this has never been explained.  However after a few years, she left…and when the War broke out, she worked as a VAD.  This gave her a wider experience of life than was usual for an upper or middle class girl at the time.  She began to write, first producing a novel about her time as a VAD. (Zella Sees Herself).
After the war, she married into the lower ranks of the landed gentry.  Paul Dashwood, her husband had been in the army and was an engineer, and his family had the title of Baronet.  He and his wife went out to the Malay states on marriage, as did many British professionals with such practical skills. She wanted to come back to England, and within a few years, they moved back to Devon where her husband got a job as estate manager to the Bradfield estate.  Delafield went on with her writing -but was very involved with the local society circle, the Women’s Institute etc.      
Like many of her heroines of her books about married life, she was something of a fish out of water, in the genteel upper middle or gentry circles of provincial England.  She was more intellectual than the women she mixed with.  They thought of her as odd because of her writing; her writing friends who came to stay didn’t usually win the admiration of her children.  Her marriage seems to have been happy enough –but all the same her view of marriage seems a little jaundiced.  In many of her novels about marriage, the “husband” is a dull man who loves his wife but is irritated by her, has few interests in common with her, and retreats behind his newspaper.  So it is possible that her marriage was not a close one, in that sense.

In the next part of this blog, I hope to write something about one of Delafield’s best novels, “Thank Heaven Fasting”.

Charlotte M Yonge

Charlotte Yonge is a forgotten author today but she was a very prolific writer in the 19^th Century.  She was born in 1823, in Hampshire, and as a young woman became an ardent disciple of the High Church movement. 

This was a movement which sprang up in the Church of England in the early Victorian era, bent on restoring the Catholic side of the Anglican heritage.  Many clergymen at the time went over to Rome, because of conservative policiatlal and religious views.  They felt that the Church of England had lost its heritage, and that as a state church, it was bound to be affected by the politics of the time, which they saw as frighteningly radical.  Others felt that it was possible to revitalise and re dignify the Church of England, remaining in it and reforming it.  They attracted hostility form “Low church” people, because of their desire to bring in “Catholic” ritual, vestments and practices, such as the use of candles and incense... Many Anglicans and English people in general were very hostile, traditionally to Roman Catholicism and this extended to the increase in Catholic practices within the Anglican Church.

But the movement grew and while it did tend to attract ultra conservative people, it did have a positive side.  The colour and beauty of the ritual was felt to attract people, especially working class people.  Charlotte was the daughter of William Yonge, a country gentleman and was brought up and educated by him.  He was an intelligent but strict man and while she learned a lot from him, she also was somewhat limited, by her close relationship with him.  He was domineering and she looked up to him, and felt it was her duty to be an obedient daughter. She was an intelligent young woman but was afraid to think for herself.  She felt that women might be clever – but the cleverest woman knew she should be modest about her intelligence and use it under male guidance. It has been said that she never married because she could never find a man who matched up to her father.

Charlotte met with John Keble, one of the most famous of the early generation of Anglo Catholic clergymen.   He became a “Pope” to her, an inspiration and guide.  She began to write novels and used them to promote the Anglo catholic movement.    She was a novelist of family life, she also wrote children’s books, histories and historical novels. 

Her strict religious views and her deep conservative rigidity probably prevented her from being a great novelist, but she was a very good one.
In her time, very moralistic novels were popular, as people had high ideals.  so her better ones, like Daisy Chain, Pillars of the House,  Clever woman of the Family, etc., were all read by all sorts of people and loved. She did portray people who might seem improbably virtuous, and her views on women were old fashioned even in the later Victorian age.  But she could write realistic and lovable children, growing up, like Ethel, in Daisy Chain… I haven’t read all her works but I do enjoy some of them.  She’s not really my usual type of writer because she is very moralistic, but she’s an interesting character.  And at times it is nice to read about high ideals.

Rough Music a band story

Rough Music is set in the late 1970’s going on to 1980.  It is about an American country rock band, who are just beginning after years of hard work, to have some success.  TV appearances, talk of a movie, hits in the charts. They work hard and try to give their fans a show they will remember.  They care about the fans, but life on the road has a lot of hardships.  It has compensations, such as a generous supply of young women and easy access to soft drugs.  But as the musicians grow older, they acquire wives and children and feel the pull of being away from then.  They still sleep around, and don’t feel too much guilt about it.  Having women is one of the perks of being in a musical lifestyle.  However by the late 1970s musicians’ wives were beginning to complain about being left behind while their husbands partied, or fooled around, and to talk about “having a life of their own”.  And to complain that the husbands were never there when needed.  Jeff Randles and Brandon Sherwood are the 2 lead singers in the band, and they are good friends.   They understand each other and in some ways feel closer to each other than they do to their wives.  Jeff breaks up his first marriage because his wife Lacy is increasingly sick of his being away, and he finds her cold and uninteresting, but he makes a second marriage, to a girl he hardly knows, but has gotten pregnant. However, he does not know her well and has to adjust to marriage and being a father, while still trying to make a living doing what he loves.

This is not really a romance albeit it is about love relationships and marriage.  It is more about life in general, about how far we can compromise in terms of work we do, and how to make a marriage last when a lot of things are against it.  I liked writing it because I feel that in life, especially as we get middle aged, there aren’t any easy answers…. http://www.amazon.co.uk/Rough-Music-Nadine-Sutton-ebook/dp/B01AEQS0G0/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1452977780&sr=8-1&keywords=nadine+sutton

Charlotte Bronte , Mr Nicholls and her last years

Charlotte was dumbfounded when she was proposed to by Mr Nicholls.  She didn’t love him, and felt that they had nothing in common.  However, her father really lost his temper when he heard of the proposal.  His motives were mixed. He was afraid of losing his daughter; he was an old man and wanted her to be with him and look after him.  He also believed that she was too delicate to endure childbirth and that marriage would be dangerous for her.  And he didn’t like Mr Nicholls much either.  He believed that as a well-known novelist, Charlotte could do better, in finding a husband and that probably Mr Nicholls was boasting about his own family background in Ireland.  The man had nothing but a modest income as a curate…how could he keep a wife?

He got into such a rage that Charlotte hastily denied all desire to marry Nicholls and after a few arguments, the younger man left Haworth and his job.  The local people by now knew of Charlotte’s being a novelist; they all liked her and thought that this man wasn’t nearly good enough. He was considered very presumptuous, to have addressed a marriage offer to their “Miss Bronte”.

Charlotte felt that she should obey her father, even though she was now a mature woman.  But she was having second thoughts.  Mr Nicholls was not, in her opinion, very clever.  He was dull, shy and awkward, and she didn’t find him attractive.  But she was aware that she was getting older and did not have many chances of marriage. She realised that he genuinely loved her for herself, and if he wasn’t very interested in her writing, that was in its way a point in his favour.

Mrs Gaskell was staying with her, when this row over Mr Nichols was going on, and being happily wed herself, she felt that Charlotte too should have a chance of marriage.  She could see how lonely her friend was, and wanted to help.  She encouraged Charlotte to engage in correspondence with her admirer and to seriously consider his offer. Charlotte had rarely disobeyed her father, but she was beginning to develop some interest in the curate…As a girl, she would have refused to marry without love, but now, she was willing to be glad that he cared deeply for her.  Luckily for her, Mr Bronte disliked the new curate he had found and was beginning to soften.  Old Tabby, the family servant, told him that he should let her get married.  The local townsfolk began to miss Nicholls as well.  Charlotte pleaded with her father, telling him that not many men would want to marry her... She insisted that if she was married to Nicholls, he was willing to live in their home and help to take care of his father in law and take the burden of church work off him.

Grudgingly, Patrick gave in, but he refused to give his daughter away at the quiet wedding. Charlotte was very nervous of marriage, knowing that she and Arthur did not have much in common other than their church background.  He wasn’t “intellectual”.  But the marriage was quite a success.  They went to Ireland for their honeymoon and she found that Mr Nicholls’ family were “well bred” and comfortably off, grander than her own father’s background! She grew into a gentle love for him, being very happy at last to have a companion who wanted to be with her….

When back in Haworth, she referred to him affectionately in her letters as “My dear Arthur” and “my dear boy.” She helped more with his parish work and her father was able to relax and to feel the benefits of having a son in law living in.  The only fly in the ointment was Charlottes writing.  She told Nicholls that if she hadn’t been spending the evening with him she would have been writing, and showed him a story she had begun, which was later published as “Emma”, - the few pages she had written.  Marriage was taking up a lot of her time, and she had less to bestow on her work. It was set in a school and Arthur told her he feared the critics would think she was repeating her Jane Eyre and Villette themes.  She told him she would probably re write it several times till she got it the way she wanted.  But she never completed the novel.

She was busy, she was happy in a way she had never been; even if her husband was not an intellectual companion…She also became pregnant… Unluckily, she caught a bad cold, out walking with Arthur, and became very ill.  It’s not clear what was wrong… The chill may have weakened her and she may have also fallen victim to the family curse of TB, but she was almost vomiting persistently, and it seems as if this was related to pregnancy.  Her illness went on, exhausting her, and she died a mere 9 months after her marriage.

She was clearly in love with her husband and happy in the marriage and he was devoted to her.  After her death, he showed himself a decent and loyal man; he kept his promise to her, to look after her father.  He remained with old Mr Bronte for several years, till he died.  The 2 men weren’t that close.  Patrick found some comfort after his last child’s death, in delighting in her literary fame.  He wanted a biography written, whereas Mr Nicholls felt that it would be an intrusion on Charlotte’s privacy and his, and that he did not want such publicity for the woman he loved.  He hated the “autograph hunters” who were beginning to invade Haworth and even more, he hated journalists who wrote about his wife…

He and Mr Bronte argued about the issue of her literary works and having a biography written.   Mr bronte felt it would be good to have an authorised biography to counter the more wild and silly stories that had appeared.  In the end it was written by Charlotte’s good friend Elizabeth Gaskell and Patrick was not best pleased with it.  She portrayed him as extremely eccentric, and rather selfish. He noted several inaccuracies.  There was controversy about what she wrote about the Bronte children and their school, where the 2 girls died.  Lawsuits were threatened about her chapter about Branwell’s affair with Mrs Robinson. Mr Nicholls may have felt he was justified in his dislike of the whole project. But it was a well written biography which was the foundation for other works on Charlotte’s and the Brontes’ lives.

Eventually after Mr Bronte’s death, Nicholls went back to Ireland since he was not offered the clerical post in Haworth, and he gave up Orders and became a gentleman farmer.  He remarried, but seems to have always loved Charlotte. So in her way, she had her great romance…

Charlotte after her sisters' deaths

Charlotte’s domineering nature had some times irritated her sisters, particularly Emily, but they had all been very close, and without them she was lost.  Her father was worried that he would lose his last child and fussed and fretted over her, afraid that she might become consumptive. In spite of his affection, he was not much company for her, being used to keeping to himself... He still did his parish work, and had some help from a curate, but the rest of his time, he preferred to spend alone.

Charlotte had put aside her writing during the months while her sisters were ill and dying, but with great bravery she took it up again.  She had made friends with George Smith, her publisher, who was a charming man some years her junior.  Her friend Mary Taylor had emigrated to New Zealand, where she felt it would be easier for a radically minded woman like her to live.   Her family had been well to do business people, but had lost their money, and she hated dependence.  She did not want to be a governess, but in New Zealand she was able to open a shop, which would have been unusual behaviour in England.   So Charlotte had lost one of her few good friends, although they remained in touch by letter.  In the time following Emily and Anne’s deaths, she continued to write novels, though the two she published, Shirley and Vilette were not as popular as Jane Eyre.

She also formed a friendship with Elizabeth Gaskell, then a well-known writer, who was very different to Charlotte.  She was a happily married mother and a Unitarian, while the Brontes were Church of England and had some problems with  Dissenters.   
Apart from the death of her son, Mrs Gaskell  had not had much tragedy in her life, whereas Charlotte’s life had of late been nothing but tragedies… The two women discussed novel writing and careers for women.  Mrs Gaskell visited Haworth, but did not like her friend’s father, believing that Patrick was a selfish old man who took over Charlotte’s life.   When later, she came to write her famous biography, her prejudice against him rather skewed the book. 

However she was very fond of Charlotte and brought her some happiness and support in her career.  They mingled in literary society in London and visited Sir James Kay Shuttlewroth, who was something of a patron of writers.   Charlotte remained shy and awkward, and when in London, she didn’t shine at parties.  Thackeray was said to have left a party in his own house, for her, because it had become so heavy and dull.  Charlotte found that some of her literary idols such as Thackeray were not as wonderful as she had imagined when she actually met them.  She thought he was too fond of high society... And he rather dismissed her as a plain woman whom he also thought was too prim and proper and censorious.  Charlotte had dedicated Jane Eyre to him, which caused him some embarrassment.  She did not know that his wife was mentally ill (having suffered a breakdown after the birth of one of her children), and that he had had to put her in care, and that there were rumours that he was involved with another woman, since his wife was unwell.  Rumours then abounded that it was his ladyfriend (or his governess) who had written Jane Eyre, with its plot of a man with a mad wife, who marries his governess.

Charlotte’s shyness and naivety made her ambivalent about mixing in London society.  She was pleased for her gift to be recognised but she wanted to preserve her anonymity.  She also was prudish and censorious, at times and this didn’t go down well.  She and Mrs Gaskell did form a warm relationship, however, and thanks to this friendship,  Charlotte managed to find some real happiness, perhaps the most she had had in her not very long life.

Arthur Bel Nicholls, the curate at Haworth, was a prim and rather narrow minded man, who had not interested Charlotte at first.  She didn’t care for curates, although they were the only men that she met, at home.  She found them uninteresting and narrow in their religious views.  Patrick was not overly fond of his curate either, but he needed help with his work, as he grew older.  He had regained some of his sight but he was an old man.   

So Charlotte was amazed when out of the blue, Arthur Nicholls proposed to her. She had had no idea of his being in love with her, and while she had to a degree recovered from her sad love for Heger, she didn’t think of marriage.  She believed herself to be very plain, and not attractive to men.  She had had proposals, but they were from clergymen looking for a helpful wife and she had no hesitation in turning them down.  But In spite of being “resigned to spinsterhood”, she did long for masculine affection, and marriage.  

She was very lonely in the years following her sisters death.  She kept busy with her work, and with the duties of a “clerical daughter” for Patrick.  She did enjoy some of her trips to London or to stay with Ellen Nussey… but at home, she was very much alone.  
Her novel "Shirley" was interrupted by the deaths of Anne and Emily.  She had to leave it but then afterwards, went back and finished it. It was not her forte, writing about industrial conditions in Yorkshire at the time of the Napoleonic wars and it is not her best work.  It didn’t do nearly as well as Jane Eyre.   Her next novel Villette was more complex and in some ways a finer work than Jane Eyre, but it was not as popular.   She was pleased to be able to earn money through her writing, but she found it hard to churn out novels for publication in the way that other Victorian novelists did.  Her friendship with George Smith had included, I think a little romantic attraction on her side. However,  he was younger, he was very busy with his work and he married a woman of his own age, in due course.  So the friendship became a little cooler.

So while her work and her social life were a help to her, Charlotte was a lonely woman, now in her 30s.  She wanted something more….

Charlotte Bronte Part III, Emily and Anne

Charlotte’s triumph in getting her first novel published and its being such a success should have been a happy Time for the family, but it didn’t last long.   Emily had quarrelled with her domineering older sister about the issue of publishing; she seemed to write mostly for herself and her sisters and didn’t at all desire to show her work to the public.  She didn’t seem to care about money.  But she was depressed at the lack of understanding from the critic, although her book sold.  Some critics did appreciate her talent, even if they deprecated the violence, the passionate emotions, and “impropriety” of the story of Wuthering Heights.   They felt that given time, Ellis Bell might mature into a great writer.

 But tragic days were in the offing for the Bronte family. Branwell had become a serious problem for them, since his dismissal form this job at the Robinsons.  He was drinking and using opium, and getting into debt.  Some biographers believe that Mrs Robinson remained in touch with him and sent him small sums of money but it’s not clear if this was the case.  When her husband died, he believed that she would send for him and they would be married... But whether there had ever been an affair or not, Mrs Robinson didn’t send for him, and he was devastated... and his health began to decline through 1847 and 1848.    His drinking exacerbated his weakness and a family proneness to TB… He set his bed on fire, and in the end Patrick Bronte had to take him into his own bedroom, to keep an eye on him during the night.

Charlotte is often criticised for being unkind to Branwell as he declined, but my sympathies are with her.  She had worked hard, in jobs she didn’t like, to earn a living, while he had failed at every job he got.  She had now struggled to her work published and to persuade her sisters to write for publication.  Branwell had had a few poems published in newspapers but he was not willing to work hard at preparing a novel or any work for publication.  He dismissed novels as easy to write, but his own attempt at novel, is a feeble effort…

 Now, in 1847/8 he was a serious liability.  They didn’t tell him about their success in getting the novels published, because it would upset him or he might give away their identities.   

His health got worse but the family seem to have been taken aback by the speed of his decline… He died aged 31 in September 1848.

The Brontes were grieved and shocked, although he had been such a trouble to them.  His father felt the loss of his only son, very painfully. 

Emily went to his funeral; she caught a bad cold, and soon began to show symptoms of TB.  Her decline was also very rapid.  She refused to let her sisters help her and would not see a doctor.  She insisted on doing her housework and normal tasks, although she was getting weaker.   By December, she was desperately ill.  Always slender, she became bone thin, and afflicted with a terrible tubercular cough. She still refused medical aid, and Charlotte particularly felt helpless at the way she rejected any help.  The two sisters had loved each other but had disagreed over things, particularly the issue of whether they should publish their works.  Emily had only agreed under protest to Wuthering Heights being published and had insisted on their using pseudonyms.  She feared the loss of her privacy and anonymity.   When Charlotte had had to go to London to see her publisher George Smith, to let him know that she was a woman, (due to rumours about the real identity of “the Bells”,) Emily had point blank refused to go or leave Haworth.  She had also been insistent on staying with her publisher Thomas Newby, who was a dubious character… when Charlotte wanted her to change to Smith.  She felt that George Smith had treated her very well with the publication of Jane Eyre, and been “a gentleman” – Emily preferred to stick with Newby even if it was to her disadvantage.

Now, in her final illness, it was very painful and hurtful to Charlotte that her younger sister still was at odds with her, refusing her sisterly love and offers of help.  She told her sisters she would have no “poisoning doctor” near her.  Charlotte wrote to a doctor, hoping for some advice, and the doctor replied and sent medicine but Emily would not take it.

She was in what Victorians described as “Galloping consumption”, and it’s unlikely that anything would have cured her or even slowed down the progress of the disease.   She soon reached a point where she could hardly breathe or speak, and finally said that she would see a doctor, if they brought one... but it was too late.  She died lying on the sitting room sofa…painfully and traumatically.

She was buried on 22^nd December, 1848 - 3 days after her death. 

Charlotte was very upset, but soon her last sister, Anne, became ill, displaying symptoms of TB, also.  She had probably caught it from Emily. Victorians didn’t realise that the illness could be transferred from person to person, and didn’t take hygiene precautions.  The Sisters shared a bedroom…

Anne was more tractable than her stubborn sister, with whom she had been very close. She knew that she would probably not recover but she was willing to see medical men and take their advice. 

Charlotte hoped that her sister might survive, and did her best to look after her.   Anne’s health got worse, and in the spring of 1849, she expressed a wish to go to Scarborough; she had visited there, with the Robinson family when she had been their governess.  She went there with her sister and Ellen Nussey and died there at the end of May.
Charlotte was now left alone with her elderly father, the last of his six children.  She had lost 3 siblings in 10 months.  Her success as a novelist had raised her hopes that she might write other works.  She believed that she would be able to make a living as a writer, rather than have to be a governess again. And that her sisters could do the same.  Now her sisters were gone, she was lonely and had no one to discuss her work with….

Beds and Blue Jeans taster, Sam's trying to flirt...

“Yeah but I don’t know.  Pattie’s not the career type.   Thing is Amber, we never –“

Sam broke off. He had been about to say that he and Pattie had never discussed anything much.  They had slipped into a live-in relationship, she had had the baby. He didn’t want to criticise his girlfriend, to another woman.

“My goodness,” Amber interjected suddenly, “I’ve got to go.  Sam, it sure was nice to chat and catch up on things.  But work calls. I’ve got to get back by 2 o’clock.”

She reached for her purse- but he put his hand out and forestalled her.
“No, sweetie, I invited you to lunch.  I’m gonna pay. “

She laughed and then gracefully gave way.

“You’re such a perfect gentleman.  OK.  But this was fun and next time I’ll invite you.”

The story is available on Amazon

https://www.amazon.co.uk/Beds-Blue-Jeans-everyday-mayhem-ebook/dp/B01370SMFO/ref=sr_1_1?s=digital-text&ie=UTF8&qid=1472894698&sr=1-1&keywords=beds+and+blue

Charlotte Bronte II

On leaving the Heger School, Charlotte was painfully unhappy.  It’s not clear what was said to her, but it seems as if Mme Heger pushed her into leaving Brussels. I believe that Heger realised it too, that his pupil, a plain but intelligent young woman of whom he was fond, had developed an inappropriate love for him.  He and Mme Heger felt that they had to get her to leave, fearing embarrassment and scandal, but he was also sorry for her and believed that she would be better to go home and get over her feelings.

Charlotte however remained in love for some time.  She begged permission of M Heger to write to him but he stipulated that these letters should be limited to "one every 6 months".  Charlotte longed to write more often, and wrote some painfully loving but very proper letters.  However Heger didn’t respond.  The story of her continuing love for him is sad to think about, she was so unhappy and  desperately pleading for a little friendship and affection from him.

He threw away some of her letters but Mme Heger rescued them, perhaps because she was aware of the possibility of scandal and wanted to preserve evidence.

She gradually recovered to an extent and was occupied with family problems, such as Branwell’s drinking and bad behaviour, and her father’s blindness.

 The girls continued for a while to believe they might be able to set up a school and did some advertising, but no one was interested in sending their daughters to a remote place like Haworth… and the plan eventually languished.

Charlotte began to think of other ideas for occupying herself and making some money.  She persuaded her sisters to put their poetry together and try to get it published as a joint effort.   Emily was furious when Charlotte revealed she had accidentally seen her poems and read some and was for a time very unwilling to agree to get them published.   She gave in, reluctantly, but when the book came out, in 1846, it only sold 2 copies.

 But Charlotte was a determined young woman and didn’t give up hope.

She was always the leader of the 3 of them in trying new schemes, such as setting up their own school or going to Brussels to learn more...  or starting to write for publication.  They had all written since they could hold a pen, but apart from Branwell none of them seems to have seriously considered trying to make money or get published.  Charlotte had written to the Poet Southey as a girl, asking whether he thought that she had talent, but he responded that literature was not the business of a woman's life.
Emily would not have been put off by such negativity from an outsider, but she positively hated the idea of submitting her work to the gaze of the public.  Anne seems to have been quietly willing to agree, once the notion of publication was suggested.  She was shy but not completely or aggressively retiring like her sister.

 Charlotte was the most normal of the girls.  She was shy and also quite sharp tongued and critical of people.  She disliked most of her employers, and was socially awkward but not to the extent that Emily was.  She was willing to engage with the outside world, whether by writing and getting published or by making friends.  She didn’t have many friends but did engage in social life, later, as a writer.  She had two friends Ellen Nussey and Mary Taylor, whom she had known from school and who remained close to her all their lives.

 At this stage, Patrick was virtually blind and underwent an operation for cataract, which was very painful.  It meant that he had to go to Manchester. Charlotte had to accompany him.  While he was recovering she started to write Jane Eyre, and then began to try and get it sold.   Her sisters were engaged in writing and submitting their books - Wuthering Heights and Agnes Grey. 

However their publisher Newby was a decidedly “dodgy” character and didn’t treat them very fairly.  Charlotte’s Jane Eyre was read by George Smith, a young man just starting out in publishing.  His reader thought it was so wonderful he urged that it should be published…

 It was an overnight success.  Emily and Anne’s books which were published as a 3 volume, set, (the first 2 volumes was Wuthering Heights and the third one was the short work -Agnes Grey), didn’t do so well, although some discerning critics could see the talent, in Emily’s work. Finally, Charlotte’s pressuring of her sisters and her hard work was beginning to pay off…. 

Charlotte Bronte Part I

Charlotte was the oldest surviving daughter of Patrick and Maria Bronte and in some ways the dominant figure in the family. She was, as a girl, closest to her brother Branwell; she and he created the world of "Angria" together and wrote their stories and poems.

As the eldest of the girls, she helped to educate her 2 younger sisters, and was conscious that she had to try and earn a living, but she was very much unsuited to governess work which was the only role that a young woman like her could find.

She was very shy, but also snobbish…. she hated being under an obligation to the families who employed her, and who treated her like a servant.  Although her father had come from a farming background, she felt that she was a lady, since he had become a clergyman.  She saw herself as higher in rank (and was better educated) than the mill owning or wealthy trade families who were now the "new rich" of Yorkshire and who hired governesses for their children. 

Opinions differ on how accurate are Charlotte’s portraits of the families she worked for. Some commentators feel that she was quite right in seeing them as snobbish, rude, and unpleasant and unfeeling.  Others feel that Charlotte was touchy and proud, and quick to see slights and insults where none were intended.   She was also not very fond of children, and not good with them.  She generally had little good to say of her employers or their children.  The children were seen by her as badly behaved and stupid brats, but she was not allowed to discipline them.  She wasn't a natural teacher, was not fond of children, and felt that it was very hard to get any knowledge into their heads.   

At the age of 26, she persuaded her aunt to help her and Emily to go to Brussels, so that they could improve their languages and learn more, and the plan was to prepare to open their own school.  It would have given them more autonomy than working for other people, and she believed they could support themselves and not have to kow-tow to employers.
The Brontes were beginning to realise that Branwell who was meant to be the white hope of the family, wasn’t likely to make their  fortune...

Emily didn’t  want to leave Yorkshire but she did want more education, so she was willing to go.  Charlotte longed to travel.  Her friends Mary and Martha Taylor were studying in Belgium, and she longed to see something of the world, as well as learn more. As always she was the one of the 3 girls who was more eager to mingle with people.  Anne was too shy and Emily positively refused to mix. 

In Brussels, they were pupil teachers, working for Mme Heger and her husband, who ran a school.  Heger was also a professor at a boy’s school, but he was impressed by the Bronte girls and eager to teach them.  Charlotte took to him and worked hard to improve her French. Emily did not like him or Brussels but worked hard, to educate herself (her spelling had been terrible as a girl) and she taught music.  Neither girl liked the Belgian people much.  They were critical of the school’s “young lady” pupils…
Both were fairly narrow minded, and they felt uncomfortable with the foreign and Catholic culture.  Charlotte however took the opportunity to socialise with the local English community and with her friends the Taylors.  Emily more or less refused to go out. 

After a year or so, the Brontes’ aunt, Miss Branwell died, and they had to return to England.  Charlotte was still eager to go back to her job in Brussels. Emily, having inherited a little money from her aunt, decided that she had truly hated being away from home and now she was not going to leave.  The plan for the school was still in their minds but it was not ever a very practical one.  Emily disliked teaching, they thought of having it in the Parsonage which was not very big. Yet it seems unlikely that they could have had several girls living there with the unsociable Patrick and the increasingly difficult Branwell in residence.

So Emily remained home and kept house, for her father.  Anne was working in a governessing job, with the Robinson family and Charlotte returned to the Hegers.  However her second time in Brussels was not happy.  She found that Mme Heger was increasingly distant form her, and began to worry.  After a time, she realised that this was because Madame believed that she, Charlotte, was in love with M Heger.  This was certainly true.  Yet Charlotte was so innocent that she probably didn’t realise it herself, and had only thought of him as a beloved teacher, someone she enjoyed working with.  She hadn’t thought of a married man, as someone she could fall in love with.  She was too religious and proper for that.  She didn't imagine that he might ever reciprocate her feelings.  When she was made aware of them, she felt extremely guilty and knew that she had to come away from the school. However, she disliked Mme Heger more and more, as “un-English” in her way of running the school and later portrayed her as a villain, in her novels.

More about Charlotte will follow!