Tuesday, 23 June 2026

warning to social Climbers by Benedict Brooke

As Jeremy reached the mountain top- He said “At last I can relax” "I must inform the office, By email, phone, and fax” “Must let them know that I’ve achieved My ultimate final goal” “No not slamming the markets Or selling my bloody soul Or being a bear, a slag or some such Or playing the Stock Exchange But I’ve given up my position And conquered a mountain range Reinstatement and promotion Senior manager, at least For I was conquering Everest, While they were on the piste Five hundred K, a company car A Merc or maybe a Jaguar Executive Box at sporting Events Henley, champagne, hospitality tents A flat down in Chelsea, a girlfriend called Shona Invited to Wembley, guest of the owner I’ll buy up Man U, run my own racehorse And hope for a gong from Elizabeth, of course Imagine their faces when I meet the queen I’ll stand there, polite, aloof and serene" And with that, the smug bastard fell down a ravine.

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