Consequences Part VI

Alex goes to town to meet her brother and he questions her about what has happened. She feels she can't explain why she left the house to find lodgings... and can't explain that her lodgings are shabby and in a very poor area. He asks why the servants weren't paid, and she finally manage to tell him it's because she had used up the money. She says that she thought he could just write another cheque and he is appalled and accuses her of embezzling the money. She really can't understand why it is a problem. She has not handled money in years. She dimly realises that it was wrong to take the money Cedric gave her for the servants' pay, and to use it herself, but she does not see why. Cedric is torn between serious disapproval and feeling sorry for her, when she is so helpless and unaware. Alex feels that it's another indication that she is a bad person and deserves punishment and hellfire. He tells her that they will forget about it, and when Pamela gets married, she will make over her money to Alex. She goes back to her lodgings and broods, and comes to the conclusion that if she's so bad, she is destined for hell anyway.. if there is a hell. So she decides to commit suicide. She goes to the Ponds on Hampstead Heath and nerves herself to end it all. She works herself up to find enough courage to finish her life.. and steps into the pond, having put stones in her pockets. She drowns. Her family are sad but not desperately upset. They don't understand the problems that she has carried all her life or what drove her to this final event. Her younger sister feels that she had nothing to live for. Barbara remembers how pretty the young Alex was.